Lonely

[techbilt]

Short piece centered around Prowl, not long enough for me to justify putting it on Ao3 but a way to help me deal with everything going on in my life right now.

The world was at peace. Or at least it was supposed to be. Decepticons, Autobots, Neutrals, Maximals, Predicons, what ever one called themselves were all living amongst one another with the regular amount of issues any society would have to deal with. Prowl though. Prowl was jealous so many could put everything behind them. He was jealous that the war didn’t keep them up at night. That their time killing one another didn’t haunt their every conscious moment. Prowl dealt with the guilt of every Autobots death. He dealt with the guilt of those he had hurt while he had been controlled by bombshell. He felt the responsibilities of everything he had made Optimus do – throwing him off a building the latest of his responsibilities. He didn’t blame Jazz for not wanting to talk to him anymore. His only friend disgusted with him. He was disgusted with himself as well.

So he found himself here. A dark bar and the counter, not even a half a drink down. Its not even high grade, he doesn’t deserve the bliss of being inebriated, to feel less pain. The cold hard feeling in his spark wont fade. It’s a sharp pain and Prowl can feel a rock in his energon intake his doors hang low. He feels his shoulders get heavier, he can feel the lubricant well up in his optics. The bars not empty but no one here talks to him.

He expects that. He can’t get his own brothers to like him either.

Prowl rests his arms on the counter, laying his helm down. His frame shakes and he cries. He’s never been so alone, and its his own fault and he has no one to blame but himself. He’s not surprised no one notices his outburst. They continue to watch the lob tournament; the bartender continues doing his job around the distressed mech. In a way he’s glad no one brings it up, in another it confirms what he already knew: No one cares.

It’ll be like that tomorrow.

The day after that.

The day after that.